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This period represents a full decade since the phrase “disappearing” entered the public consciousness. Back then, the concept that someone could instantly end communication with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the peak of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a mate has only become more confounding – an commonly pointless pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly defined by social media jargon.

Gen Z, a cohort who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a concerted challenge on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic environment than their Gen Y forerunners could ever envision. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown longer and more bizarre, with terms like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” testing the boundaries of your sanity.

What follows is a comprehensive glossary to the terms Zoomers is using to talk about love, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To echo one of the year’s most popular memes, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Realness – In the view of gen Z, dating’s ideal is showing up as your true, unvarnished self. Best wishes with that!

B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon inspired by a framework developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your date's reply is interested or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while exuding mystery and independence. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

C

Chair theory – This refers to going for someone who supports you proactively. If you entered a room, they would pull up a seat for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A meet-up where two people form a link while doing chores, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do budget-friendly dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or split, dumping all of your (unrequited) emotions.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 1980s yuppie affluence, it describes partners who opt out of having children to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The opposite of acting aloof: practicing communication, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Signals

• Danger signals – Behavioral traits suggesting a potential partner is bad news. Examples include calling their exes crazy, subpar gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Good indicators – These traits confirm your choice to pursue a mate. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, having a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe specific, largely inoffensive idiosyncrasies. Such as being an keen birdwatcher, still carrying around a biro in their purse, paying the rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who loathes the same stuff or people that you do (few things fosters closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group many young men is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The rare partner who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Gooners – A mostly online community of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, purposefully delaying orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A trend describing many women's increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An ideal touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Random and frequently trivial repulsions that immediately kill any sense of interest.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an extremely romantic act.

J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in sectors they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the days of locking lips may be limited since some Zoomers want fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance realistic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {